The transition from the carefree days of summer to the structured routine of a new school year can be a significant emotional shift for children and parents alike. As backpacks are filled and school bells ring, it’s entirely normal for young minds to grapple with feelings of anxiety, apprehension, or difficulty adjusting to newfound changes. Recognizing and addressing these emotions early on is crucial for fostering a positive and healthy start to the academic journey.
We are thrilled to welcome back Dr. Stephanie Smith to the Healthy Family Project podcast to delve into these pertinent topics. A renowned clinical psychologist, devoted mother, and insightful author, Dr. Smith brings a wealth of knowledge and practical strategies. She specializes in guiding families through the complexities of modern life, offering compassionate and common-sense approaches to make positive changes. Her expertise is particularly invaluable during the back-to-school season, where she helps navigate the emotional landscape of new beginnings.
Dr. Stephanie Smith, based in a vibrant suburb of Denver, Colorado, manages her private practice, Front Range Psychology, where she provides support to a diverse clientele including moms, dads, teens, and tweens. Her unique blend of humor, empathy, and practical wisdom enables individuals and families to strengthen their bonds and mental well-being from the inside out. Beyond her clinical work, Dr. Smith enriches the online community through her blog, Dr. Stephanie. Here, she explores contemporary issues such as technology use, parenting challenges, social dynamics, and pop culture, all filtered through a mental health lens. Her insights are further shared as an official blogger for the American Psychological Association’s popular platform, Your Mind, Your Body, solidifying her reputation as a leading voice in mental health advocacy.
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For those eager to dive directly into specific discussions, we’ve provided convenient time stamps below. However, for a comprehensive understanding and the full benefit of Dr. Stephanie’s insights, we highly recommend listening to the entire episode!
- 0:37 – Fueling Success: The Power Your Lunchbox Initiative
- 6:40 – Navigating the Shift: Strategies for a Smooth Summer-to-School Transition
- 11:22 – Adapting to Change: Helping Students Adjust to New Teachers and Diverse Teaching Styles
- 17:55 – Empowering Control: Identifying What Kids Can Manage to Reduce Anxiety
- 26:28 – Conquering the Cafeteria: Addressing Anxiety in the Lunchroom
Essential Resources for Managing Back-to-School Anxiety:
- Understanding and Alleviating Back-to-School Anxiety
- Ask the Psychologist: Expert Advice on Managing School-Related Worries
The Healthy Family Project Podcast: Your Guide to Health, Food, and Family Wellness
The Healthy Family Project Podcast offers engaging conversations that explore current trends and vital topics in the realms of health, food, and family life, all delivered with a refreshing dose of fun. Our mission is to empower families to gracefully navigate their journey towards a vibrant, healthy, and fulfilling lifestyle. We believe that a healthy family is a happy family, and our episodes are crafted to provide actionable advice and inspiring insights.
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If you are an expert or have a compelling topic idea that aligns with our mission to support healthy families, we would love to hear from you! Please reach out to us at [email protected] with your proposal for consideration as a potential guest on the Healthy Family Project podcast.
Episode 8 Deep Dive: Navigating Back-to-School Anxiety with Dr. Stephanie Smith
The following transcript captures the enriching conversation from Episode 8 of the Healthy Family Project Podcast. Please note that this transcript was generated by Otter.Ai, and we ask for your understanding regarding any potential misspellings or grammatical inaccuracies.
00:13 – Welcome and the Power Your Lunchbox Initiative
Welcome to the Healthy Family Project, brought to you by Produce for Kids! We’re diving into crucial discussions surrounding health, food, and family dynamics, always with a dose of fun and practical advice. While the topic of helping children manage anxiety around school is particularly relevant during the back-to-school season, its insights are truly valuable throughout the entire year. If you’re listening before September 22nd, make sure to visit PowerYourLunchbox.com. By making a simple promise to eat healthier this school year, you’ll gain access to over 70 Registered Dietitian-approved lunchbox ideas, exclusive coupons, helpful tips, and delicious recipes. These resources are designed to solve those common breakfast, snack, and dinner dilemmas that inevitably arise as routines shift. Furthermore, for every promise made, our generous partners collectively contribute $1 to Feeding America programs, directly benefiting families and children in need. It’s a true win-win: you embrace healthier habits, and deserving families receive much-needed nutritious meals.
We extend our sincere apologies for minor technical difficulties experienced during the audio recording of this episode. While there’s a slight echo, we chose to share this immensely important conversation on mental health, as its value far outweighs any audio imperfections. We are actively working to improve our sound quality for future episodes. Your child’s mental health is paramount, and understanding their emotional landscape as they navigate school challenges is vital at every stage of development.
02:50 – Introducing Dr. Stephanie Smith: A Guide Through School Stress
Today, we are incredibly fortunate to speak with Dr. Stephanie Smith, a dedicated mother of three, a respected psychologist, and the insightful founder of DrStephanieSmith.com. Our conversation with Dr. Stephanie will cover essential strategies for dealing with back-to-school anxiety, effectively managing feelings associated with new teachers or changes in teaching staff, and squashing negative energy around challenging subjects like math, science, or even physical education. We’ll also tackle the often-overlooked stress of the lunchroom, a common arena where anxiety can manifest. Crucially, we’ll also touch upon the importance of self-care for parents, as they too are not exempt from back-to-school pressures. Dr. Stephanie’s expertise promises a wealth of actionable advice, and we’re eager to jump into these hot topics.
03:18 – Dr. Stephanie’s Background and Mission
We’re delighted to have Dr. Stephanie back on the Healthy Family Project Podcast! In our third episode, we discussed managing screen time effectively in our digitally immersed world – a highly recommended listen for its timeless relevance. Now, we’re focusing on another universal challenge: back-to-school anxiety. This feeling affects everyone – kids, tweens, teens, and certainly parents. Before we dive into today’s specific strategies, for those new to Dr. Stephanie’s work, could you briefly share a bit about yourself, your website, and the inspiration behind your career path and online platform?
Dr. Smith elaborates: “I am a psychologist practicing in Colorado, and my work encompasses a wide range of individuals and family dynamics, addressing various issues. My clientele includes families, adults, tweens, and teens. I launched my website, DrStephanieSmith.com, several years ago with a clear mission: to educate the public about the critical importance of good mental health and psychological well-being. My approach has always been to make complex psychological concepts accessible, down-to-earth, and easy to understand for everyone. This focus has guided my efforts over the past decade. On a personal note, I’m also navigating the inherent back-to-school stress within my own family, so I’m equally keen to learn and refine strategies today!”
05:06 – Parenting Learnings and Our Collaboration with Dr. Smith
Indeed, the collective experience of parents offers a rich tapestry of tactics that work—and those that don’t—during this busy period. We truly value hearing from one another. We consider ourselves incredibly fortunate to have Dr. Stephanie as our trusted sounding board and regular contributor to the Produce for Kids blog, especially through her invaluable “Ask the Psychologist” series. In this series, she consistently provides thoughtful and expert answers to questions from our listeners and the broader Produce for Kids audience. We extend our sincere gratitude for her ongoing contributions.
05:54 – Easing the Transition: Tactics for the First Day and Beyond
Let’s move to our first critical question: What practical tactics can parents employ leading up to the first day of school? Children often feel nervous about a new school year, new routines, and unfamiliar environments. And, quite frankly, parents share these anxieties too! The relaxed days of summer, free from homework and rigid after-school schedules, are replaced by a demanding structure. Many of us recall the sleepless nights before the first day of school, especially as we transitioned to junior high and high school, where anxiety often escalated significantly. So, Dr. Smith, do you have any tips or tricks to help alleviate this madness for families?
Dr. Smith shares her insightful strategy: “One key approach I’ve been implementing over the last couple of years is to strike a delicate balance between being adequately prepared and organized for the school year, while also maintaining a healthy degree of flexibility. The truth is, we can never predict every change or how things will truly unfold. For my own children, feeling prepared means having their school supplies ready, knowing what they’ll wear on the first day (especially important for my girls!), and having some sense of their schedules and teachers. These are all important details.
However, it’s remarkably easy to go overboard and inadvertently create more anxiety by constantly talking about every single detail, trying to predict every minutia of what the first days and weeks will look like. A quick anecdote illustrates this: A few years ago, my husband and I felt utterly overwhelmed trying to coordinate our three kids’ school runs, various practices, lessons, and classes. We spent hours meticulously crafting a schedule of who would drive where, when carpooling was needed, and so on. The long story short? For the entire fall semester, not a single week went according to our elaborate plan! This was a profound lesson for me: be prepared, have a general sense of direction, but also leave ample room for the unexpected. Things will happen – kids get sick, unexpected snow days occur, or simply weird, unforeseen events. Over-preparing isn’t necessarily useful. So, my primary advice is to find that balance: be organized and prepared, but also be ready to embrace the unexpected with flexibility.”
08:57 – Practical Steps for Parental Preparedness
This strategy makes perfect sense. We all experience that annual rush of getting supply lists, shopping for new clothes, and feeling the buzz of the back-to-school season. As parents, tuning into what genuinely helps our children feel secure is key. Is it a carefully chosen first-day outfit that boosts their confidence, or is it the comfort of knowing their eight pencils are perfectly sharpened, as is the case with my highly organized seven-year-old? Understanding these individual needs can significantly reduce stress. Moreover, we must extend that same consideration to ourselves: what helps *us* feel comfortable and prepared to re-enter that structured routine? The challenge of scheduling activities for multiple children is incredibly relatable; it truly feels like a complex puzzle requiring constant adjustment and creativity, especially as more children join the mix of after-school commitments.
10:16 – Mastering Adaptability: Adjusting to New Teachers and Styles
Alright, so we’ve managed the first day, and the initial momentum is building. Whether school started last week, this week, or is still a few weeks away in regions like the Northeast, the transition is underway. A common concern we hear at Produce for Kids is about children struggling to adjust to new teachers. Perhaps last year’s teacher was more playful, while this year’s is stricter, leading to feelings of discontent. Dr. Smith, what are your insights on helping students adapt to diverse personalities and teaching styles? This is a crucial life skill they’ll need to develop throughout their academic journey and beyond.
Dr. Smith emphasizes, “Absolutely, flexibility and adaptability are incredibly important life skills. This is one of the most vital lessons we can help our children internalize from a young age. We know with certainty that there will be years where they instantly click with a teacher, and other years when it’s more of a struggle. The same applies to sports coaches, neighbors, or any authority figure. Therefore, the most crucial thing we, as parents, can do is to manage our own feelings and reactions in a healthy, calm manner. It’s not helpful to complain alongside them, saying things like, ‘Oh, you’re right, she *is* a jerk,’ or ‘She’s so young, she doesn’t know what she’s doing.’ While it might be tempting to validate their frustration this way, it ultimately doesn’t serve our children well.
Instead, constructive responses include, ‘Gosh, I hear you. It sounds like it’s been a bit harder this year to get into the groove of fourth grade.’ Then, encourage problem-solving: ‘Are there things you could talk with your teacher about regarding what you’re struggling with?’ or ‘Can we come up with some strategies at home to help you ease into the school year better?’ Concrete conversations are useful, but actively avoid fueling their negative sentiments. It can be easy for parents to do this, especially when we ourselves are stressed or frustrated, but adding fuel to the fire doesn’t help our children in the long run.
Another powerful strategy is to help them reflect on past situations where they faced challenges and successfully navigated them. For instance, one of my children had a particularly challenging soccer season last spring for various reasons. Yet, she persevered, she made it through, and she’s still playing, now in a much better situation. This experience will serve as a valuable reminder the next time she encounters a difficult teacher, coach, or any challenging relationship. I can say, ‘Remember that time in soccer? It felt so hard and awful, but you made it through, and now you’re in a much better situation.’ Helping them recognize their inherent resilience and understand that tough times often lead to better outcomes is incredibly empowering.”
14:20 – Fostering Collaboration and Resilience
That perspective resonates deeply. My older daughter and I have had these conversations many times. I’ve observed that these yearly changes, especially in elementary school, are crucial. For instance, she once had a teacher who was “rainbows and butterflies,” and they developed an incredibly close bond. While I knew the next year would be tough, I also understood she needed to learn that not all relationships in life are that way. From teachers and professors to bosses and supervisors, it’s about learning to work *with* people rather than against them. It’s not about compromising who you are entirely, but developing the vital skill of adjustment, understanding others, and figuring out what’s needed to foster successful relationships.
Dr. Smith adds, “Exactly, and it’s also important to keep things in perspective. While teachers are significant, children likely have many other wonderful influences in their lives – friends, family members, the bus driver, and so on. Sometimes, focusing on these other positives can be really useful, rather than solely dwelling on ‘Mrs. So-and-So is such a pain.'”
16:17 – Tackling Problem Subjects and Negative Self-Talk
Last year, my older daughter faced a significant challenge in middle school with a particular subject. Despite enjoying many positives throughout her day, she’s a “theater girl,” a performer and musician, which often means math presents roadblocks. There was so much anxiety around math, even before a new topic or subject was introduced. She would immediately feel negativity, doubt herself, and anticipate how hard it would be. I’ve worked over the years to help her understand that her best effort and 100% commitment define success, regardless of the outcome. However, I never want her to experience that “stomach ache” feeling about math. Even this year, with math as her first period, she was already anticipating it would be horrible before even knowing her teacher. It’s incredibly tough to watch.
Dr. Smith offers invaluable advice: “Oh, that’s so hard, and she is certainly not alone; many children struggle in this way. One truly important thing to discuss with kids, especially once they reach late elementary school, and certainly into middle school and beyond, is to help them identify things they *can* control and actions they *can* take. Often, at school, kids feel like, ‘I’m just doing what they tell me; I have no control, no agency.’ But they actually do! So, if you talk to your daughter, or if I talk to one of my kids about struggling in a class or with a hard topic, we focus on: ‘What are some specific things we could actually do that might change the situation?’
For a middle or high schooler, this might include making sure they attend office hours or whatever designated help sessions their school offers. Many schools have specific days or times after school where students can meet with teachers for one-on-one or small group assistance. This is something they have direct control over and can do themselves, without relying on parents. That’s a key action to list. What else? How about talking to the teacher directly about the feelings, fears, and worries they’re having around math? The teacher might have specific strategies that could help, or at least be aware of the child’s struggles in class. That’s another actionable step.
A third area could be exploring outside resources. While middle schoolers might be past flashcards (though they can still be helpful), there are many free websites that help kids review math concepts, often presented in a different way than their teacher does. I’ve seen many children find great success with these alternative explanations. So, that’s a third controllable action. When we’re stressed, worried, and overwhelmed, it’s easy to feel like the situation is hopeless and nothing can be done. But as parents, we can help our kids break that down, showing them they’re not helpless, but rather capable of outlining and taking action on things they *do* have control over. This approach is incredibly helpful not only for managing anxiety but also for improving the skills they’re struggling with, whether it’s math, Spanish, or anything else. Does that make sense?”
20:43 – Strategic Conversations and Breaking Down Challenges
Yes, that makes perfect sense. When she gets into that negative headspace, I’ve learned to give her some time before attempting a conversation. In those moments, she’s often dead set on the idea that nothing will work, entering with a completely negative outlook. Once I provide a little space, and she comes back around, we can talk it through and figure something out. I often apply this same principle to my work at Produce for Kids: if I’m stumped on a project and feeling anxious that it’s too big, I break it down. I look at it and say, ‘You know what, this isn’t something I can just sit down and do all at once. Let me break it into four separate components.’ This way, I’m not looking at a daunting mountain, but a series of manageable hills. That is truly excellent advice.
Dr. Smith reiterates, “Your point is also excellent: when children are crying and yelling, that’s probably not the ideal time to bring this up. Instead, choose a calm moment – perhaps over the weekend, or a time when everyone feels relatively good and you have a few free moments. That can be a great time to have these conversations. If your children haven’t started school yet and have a couple of weeks to go, now is an excellent time to initiate these discussions, getting one step ahead of what you already anticipate might be a sore point.”
22:24 – A Follow-up on Screen Time Management
That is undeniably good advice. And just as a quick aside, your previous podcast recording about apps that help set time limits on iPads was incredibly helpful. We started using one of your recommended apps over the summer, and it has worked tremendously. The beauty of it is that when 8 or 9 o’clock rolls around (whatever the set time may be), there’s no need for a direct confrontation like, ‘Alright, I’m taking this,’ or ‘Time to shut it down.’ Both of my girls now know their devices will shut down automatically. We even created a family charging station – a nice, designated area where they can place their devices, knowing they’ll be 100% charged in the morning. So, thank you for that; it has significantly reduced stress around those device-takedown moments.
Dr. Smith expresses her delight, “That’s so exciting! I’m glad it’s working for your family.”
We’ll link back to that app and several other recommendations from Episode 3 in our show notes. If you’re interested in learning more about effective screen time management, we highly recommend revisiting that episode. Now, back on track!
23:30 – Conquering Cafeteria and Lunchroom Anxiety
This next topic is particularly interesting because parts of it were revelations for us at Produce for Kids years ago, and then my own children experienced them firsthand: anxiety surrounding the cafeteria or lunchroom. There are numerous aspects that can trigger anxiety here – from who to sit with or how to initiate a conversation, to being made fun of for what’s in your lunch. My kids have faced teasing because their lunch (homemade wraps, cucumbers, veggie sticks) differed from those with Oreos or potato chips. We’ve worked through it, balancing healthy choices with occasional treats, emphasizing that certain foods fuel them while others don’t. Yet, the teasing can be hurtful: ‘Oh, your lunch smells!’ or ‘Kids don’t eat that!’
And then there’s a deeply personal aspect: I remember as a child receiving reduced lunch. The embarrassment was intense. I would wait for all my friends to go through the line so they wouldn’t see me using my card. This financial aspect of lunch can be incredibly stressful for many families facing hardships, whether it’s free or reduced lunch for a period or throughout their school years. Personally, it caused so much anxiety that I often didn’t even want to go to the lunchroom. So, Dr. Smith, there’s a lot to unpack here. What are your insights?
Dr. Smith acknowledges the complexity: “You know, cafeteria and lunchtime issues are a huge topic of concern for children of all ages. Even in high school, when students might have the option to leave campus, there’s often drama about who’s driving with whom, and what activities are planned. It’s a never-ending source of social navigation. One of the most important things we can do, and something I recommend constantly to the families I work with, is to truly understand the resources available at school.
For example, if your child is struggling in the lunchroom for any reason—social, financial, dietary, or otherwise—it’s crucial to talk to the school about it. Approach them not with complaints, but by stating, ‘This is an issue. What do you think are some potential options?’ I’ve found that most schools I’ve worked with, and I hope this is true across the country, are very open to these discussions. There’s likely more going on at lunchtime than you realize. Perhaps the school counselor offers a social skills group once a week that would be a good fit for your child. Maybe the principal hosts a ‘lunch with the principal’ period once a week that your child would enjoy, offering a break from the main lunchroom. Or perhaps the librarian could use help shelving books during the lunch period.
I recall a girl years ago who loved PE but dreaded lunchtime. She approached the school, and the PE teacher suggested she become an aide for the kindergarten class, whose PE period coincided with her lunch. It was an awesome opportunity! While I can’t guarantee these specific outcomes, I believe too often, as parents, we try to solve these issues in isolation. There’s immense value in being open and reaching out to school staff to explore solutions. They have a much deeper understanding of what’s available and the social dynamics than we ever will. So, my biggest tip is to send an email to the principal, or schedule a meeting with the school counselor, a teacher, or even the lunch lady, to see what options might be available. Sometimes, even just knowing that on Wednesdays, your child doesn’t have to deal with the lunchroom because they’re helping with kindergarteners, can be enough of a break to make the rest of the week not just bearable, but genuinely more pleasant.”
29:27 – Unlocking School Resources for Support
That truly makes sense. Even last year, when my child started a new school, I didn’t fully realize the array of resources available to parents. Approaching the school, as you suggested, not with a demanding ‘you need to fix this’ attitude (which isn’t productive), but rather with a ‘what is available? What options do we have? How can we make this work?’ mindset, is incredibly effective. These are all excellent tips.
Dr. Smith adds, “Precisely. I think there’s often a lot more going on in schools than most of us realize, simply because we’re not there day in and day out. They typically have many wonderful programs and resources that aren’t widely advertised. But if you ask, I am very hopeful they would be delighted to share.”
30:19 – Concluding Thoughts and Next Steps
Awesome! We are so fortunate to have your guidance through this back-to-school period. While we could discuss back-to-school challenges forever, I believe the top-level insights we’ve covered today will be incredibly helpful for our listeners. And I must remind everyone that our Power Your Lunchbox initiative is still running, speaking of cafeterias! Dr. Stephanie is helping us drive participation and promises, which are open until the end of September. However, you can access all the lunchbox ideas and resources year-round, and always visit Dr. Stephanie’s website for more information. Thank you so much, Dr. Stephanie; we are deeply appreciative of your expertise in this area, and for sharing your personal parenting experiences that resonate so strongly with us.
We will have a comprehensive blog post on ProduceForKids.com that outlines much of what we discussed today, and I will include all relevant links in our show notes. If you have any additional questions for Dr. Stephanie, please feel free to drop them in the comments section of her blog post on ProduceForKids.com or directly on HealthyFamilyProjectPodcast.com. Thank you so much for speaking with us today, Dr. Stephanie!
Dr. Smith concludes, “Thanks for having me; this was really fun!”
31:45 – A Final Word: Mental Health and Community
Thank you for tuning in today. While mental health can sometimes be a challenging subject to approach, it is something we all need to keep on our radar—not just for our children, but for ourselves as well. We sincerely hope that the insights shared today will make a positive difference in your world. You can find Dr. Stephanie on her website, DrStephanieSmith.com, where you can also access all of her social media channels. Additionally, she is a regular contributor to the “Ask the Psychologist” series on ProduceForKids.com.
Please remember to visit PowerYourLunchbox.com to make the healthy eating promise and explore all the resources available for back-to-school. If you know a special teacher, encourage them to make the promise for their classroom – we have exciting prizes like a fish tank ecosystem, a classroom mushroom growing kit, and free printables for their students! Stay updated with new content on our social media outlets: Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, and YouTube. A big thank you from the Produce for Kids family as we celebrate our eighth episode. We are immensely grateful for all of you and for the opportunity to have these important conversations. For questions, comments, or episode ideas, please visit HealthyFamilyProjectPodcast.com. Be sure to subscribe – talk soon!